Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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