using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
