I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
