Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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