i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize