Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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