She is in my trunk
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
