Define "chronic" masturbator.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
