Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize