friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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