This girl is more easily done than said...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
