I am puke
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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