I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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