I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I pour the whiskey from now on
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
