Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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