Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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