was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
