I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
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you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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