I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
