Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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