If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I made him laugh his dick is mine
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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