Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
