U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize