When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
