i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
