So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
