I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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