I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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