I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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