Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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