fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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