"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
