West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
