Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I could make wine with my vomit
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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