his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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