It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
