Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
