Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
