Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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