Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
