How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize