Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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