Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
