Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
