What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize