talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
now i know why i became what i already was.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
