A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
