thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
