Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
