he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
