I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
