I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
