Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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