It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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