ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
