this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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