I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
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