We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
