Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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